The (F)Empower Project: Meet Saribel!

My name is Saribel Deslauriers. I'm a 31 year old stay at home mother of three. I love being a mother and a wife and my life revolves around my family.

Since I was little, I have always been involved in sports and track and field. I played Handball for over 10 years and being active was always a big part of my life until I moved to Canada, got married and decided to have a family. When I had my first daughter everything changed. Sports and exercise were the least of my worries since I didn't see big changes in my body and I went right back to my regular weight. I never worried or had the time to think about exercise. Being with my daughter and husband trying to experience motherhood was my main priority. 

I had two more beautiful daughters. After my third baby, I started to look in the mirror and didn't like seeing that I was different in body and mind. I didn't do anything to change it, and lacked the drive to do anything about it. It was just easier to be at home, only going out when necessary. One day, I was sitting on the couch snacking on junk food and my oldest daughter came and said "when I grow up, I want to be like you!" That's when it hit me that I wasn't being a good example to my kids. I was lazy, eating junk food constantly and they were seeing that. It was that moment where I decided that I needed to lead by example and started to look for things to do to be active, something that would fit in our family schedule.

I started with zumba at the community centre while my daughters were in Karate, so it was a win-win. I started feeling better, not necessarily seeing any results physically but mentally it did wonders for me. One day, I saw the NTC (Nike Training Club) live classes on a CP24 segment and it looked great. It is high intensity training for a period of no more than 45 mins. At the time, they  had 3 classes during the week at Academy of Lions, including one on Saturday at 12pm. Now the trick was to find a spot... and one day I did! It was the first day of the rest of my fitness life. The NTC trainers understood my limitations and helped me push past them, coaching and guiding me through the challenges of getting back into the active lifestyle. Not only are they great fitness coaches but they're also awesome individuals.

I have been going to NTC three times a week for over a year now and train at home with the NTC app. I have seen improvements in my body where most of the baby fat is gone and I look toned! I honestly have not changed my diet. I eat whatever I want in moderation and also make sure that my portions are not extreme. I have not done any special diets or anything. I believe that you should be able to eat what you want, without feeling guilty or bad, because we only have one life and we should live it the way we want. Everything in moderation is key to me. 

Being a mother is something that has changed me for the better. My kids are my motivation and my husband pushes me to be better too. When I feel like I don't want to go exercise, he reminds me how far I've come and asks me if my excuse for not exercising is good enough? It's hard sometimes to keep myself motivated either because I feel tired, I'm too stressed or it's that time of the month. But when I start exercising I feel better, more energized, and at peace.

Training with NTC has changed me, I regained the confidence I once had. I believe that being active and fit has given me the chance to prove to myself one very important thing:

"If I put my mind to it, there's nothing I can't do."

There's so much that goes with being healthy and portraying yourself the way you want to be seen and not the way society tells you; you don't have to be skinny to be healthy, same as you don't need big muscles to be strong.

So from one mother to another: get up, it can be done! It will be hard sometimes but it will always be worth it in the end. Trust me you will not regret it and baby steps will get you there.

Now, when my daughters say to me "When I grow up, I want to be like you" I feel proud that they see a woman who's trying to be the best mother she can be, who teaches great core values, and builds motivaton and self-esteem by taking care of her mental and physical health.

The (F)Empower Project: Meet Emily

Reflexively: “Hi, I’m Emily, I’m a fourth year medical student with the team seeing you today.”

Emily.jpg

If you were to wake me up from a dead sleep those would probably be the first words out of my mouth. While I am a fourth year med student at U of T, more deeply ingrained in my identity is a love of the human body and movement. Through a series of fortunate events I have wended my athletic way from running to triathlon, hiking and climbing to Olympic lifting and Crossfit. Currently, I’m shifting focus from personal athletic development to acquiring the skills to coach other movement enthusiasts.  The long game is to eventually bring this passion forward and apply it to the patient populations that I work with in my medical career, but that’s another story. Still so much work to be done and people to learn from, but very stoked to contribute an open letter of my journey to Jenny’s project.

Saturday morning sun beaming onto the lifting platforms through the open garage door.

The hum of road bike tires on pavement.

Sweaty butt prints.

The catch of the climbing harness.

Leaves underfoot.

Rushing bubbles of metered swim strokes

The ring of dropped weights and hissing breaths

Effort

and silence.

 

That’s what fitness means to me – the ability to pick up new things and inhabit the physicality of the human body whether it be in a pool, on a slackline or under a heavy barbell.

But I can’t tell you what fitness should mean to you, or what’s right or wrong about the world of athletics. Everyone I’ve encountered has reasons for their chosen path that are in constant evolution. But maybe I can flesh out what it means to me, as well as warn against some mental pitfalls I’ve wrestled with recently. Maybe that’ll make your road a bit easier.

As you can see from the little self-bio, I have a bit of a wandering eye when it comes to sports. I’ll dive into a project for 2ish years, duke it out, learn from great minds, get my ass handed to me, then find some other challenges I want to pursue and change tracks. Compared to most of the other athletes I’ve encountered who’ve devoted many many years to their chosen sport, I’ve thought maybe I was flawed with an “inability to commit”. Honestly, maybe that’s true, but I prefer to think of it now as more of a curiosity-driven exploration. What am I capable of? Some choose to explore this potential by committing to one path and achieving glory in specialization. I prefer to see this through expanding my skillset and achieving freedom through generalization.

Beyond sheer exploration, the point of sports for me has always been Community. From volleyball to track, through triathlon and now in the weird hybrid world of lifting/crossfit/gymnastics. It’s the community I turn to when work or the rest of life is giving me the middle finger.  I train for the shift in focus, the gap between #gymlife and the professional, for the high-fives and for the peace and silence in my own mind when I want it. I train for me – and every so often I need to remind myself of this fact when I start to get down on myself for [insert every reason in the book].

And it’s hard to stay on that track sometimes!

For example:

Challenge #1

“You’ll never find a man if you look like one.”

A person close to me articulated so eloquently in a recent email. Oy.

I’d be lying if I said this thought hasn’t ever – in my weakest moments - crossed my mind. It brings so much stuff up, doesn’t it, about being adequate, the struggle towards an ideal that I know many people carry with them. And I’d also be lying if I said I hadn’t encountered people who have expressed distaste with my strength or associated appearance (to my face! Assholes!). They exist. At first I used to feel bad, then I found it was easier to think “Meh. They can exist all they want. Over there. Away from me.” And continue to surround myself people who share the same “mindedness” (they also exist in droves), and ignore the weirdos who feel the need to comment on my appearance at every turn.

At some points in my journey, I’ve prioritized the aesthetics over the skills and strength afforded by hard work.  Some people take pride and joy in that result and get tremendous satisfaction from it, but I’ve found that it’s a losing battle. And so I work to maintain focus on learning new things, prioritizing growth and evolution of general athletic competence over maintenance of physique.  What gets my butt to the gym on a rainy, cold, sleepy, snowy, commuterly impossible day, is curiosity not fear.

It’s taken me a long time to be okay with those priorities that sometimes come into conflict with the outside world. And some days it’s harder than others to stick to my guns (literally). But now when I walk into a bar, I square my unsleeved shoulders, raise my chin and meet every appraising eye. Some people are curious, others derisive, but it really doesn’t matter. A challenge or an invitation – join me, or step aside. I don’t think we should do this for anyone but ourselves!


Challenge #2

Instagr-attitude

Sort of related to the above points about trying to keep the negative voices to a dull roar.  Instagram and co can really be a mind-warp. Use and peruse with a few tools: 1) grain of salt 2) measure of skepticism 3)curiosity.

Social media is an awesome resource to connect to like-minded people and open up some cool niches.  It can be a great inspiration, but it can also be a powerful deterrent for two main reasons:

1. It conveys talent without showcasing the ridiculous amounts of work that go into developing any athletic skill.

People typically post videos only of the great feats of strength or skill that they’ve achieved. It’s great to celebrate success, but to the outsider looking in, it doesn’t capture the hours of unglamorous work and commitment it takes to get there regardless of talent. ANY skill or strength is developed by the sweat, the grind, and the sacrifice (maybe forgoing that party, or not going on that bender, or waking up at early o’clock to get that extra practice in). Without knowing all this is going on behind the scenes, it’s easy to get demoralized or resentful that you’ll “never get there”, and not even start.

The point?

Those superhuman superstars on IG didn’t just “wake up” with a stupendous skillset. You are the boss. You have to decide what you are willing and able to give before you lament over what you haven’t got. Generally, the journey usually starts with a small commitment. A few hours of practice here and there, and slowly you are willing and able to give more. And in turn you receive more, become capable of more. Until you reach your limit!

2. It emphasizes the appearance of effortless fitness.

I woke up one morning and some chick’s butt was on my news feed. In a comparison shot against her “before” shot, which really wasn’t all that different from before. Some dude’s abs were next up on the roster.  As much as I want to be positive and supportive, these images really cramp my mental style and here’s why:

This issue is tricky to navigate. On one hand, I think some of the bravest people in the gym are those who show up overweight, and totally new to the fitness world, with some serious fitness/weightloss goals. They get to work. They struggle and fight and get there. That takes some major cahones.

Yet, somehow, those aren’t the people that inundate my newsfeed with #weightloss and shit. I find that those that flood my news feed with physique-based images – by and large – deceivingly (may be unintentionally?) portray their results as effortless. Taking pictures of their junk food choices juxtaposed with the great physical shape that they are in.

Let’s real talk here for a second? It can be totally alienating to see others achieving amazing results when you don’t see the meticulous planning and work going on being the scenes. It can instill very unrealistic expectations, as well as invalidating and destructive voices similar to the fashion industry. AINT NOBODY GOT TIME.

Took me a long time to realize this truth: Most who looks physically awesome in their social media photos or real life are rarely careless about what they put in their mouths (or if they are, it’s with the assistance of PEDs. But that’s a whole other story). No sustainable results occur without planning and work. No matter what you think. No matter how many #eatingallthecarbs hashtags adorn the caption. I repeat: you are the boss. You decide what you are willing and able to give before you lament over the results you haven’t experienced, and use it as an excuse not to even start!

Ok, phew. Lots to think about.

I’ve spent a huge chunk of textual breath philosophizing about how much work is required to “achieve” any results and dumping the responsibility for progress on the reader. I stand behind this! But I’d like to leave you with some thoughts as to why this aspect of fitness/sport shouldn’t be intimidating, but rather inspiring, particularly for the women and young girls (or any new-comer) curious about this world. It’s math! Spelt “Maff” in lifter-speak:

Agency + Strong Community = Empowerment.

Agency: Fitness isn’t something that just “happens” to you. You “happen” to it! It’s simply a bit more Maff! Physical health/skill = work + lifestyle factors such as diet and sleep (+genetics, but we can’t change that, so we’re just gonna forget about it).  You are in control. You can build up to the commitment it takes to achieve a high skill level, or you can chill and enjoy the journey and community (all the while with a realistic expectation that perhaps you won’t get as far as fast!). There is a very strong sense of accomplishment that comes from working towards a goal and reaching it. The feeling when you realize you’ve made progress. Actual. Measurable. Progress. Is often enough to stomp on the naysayers, to ignore the people who don’t understand.  Slowly the confidence builds from you starting to believe you can actually do cool things like run a 10k or a half or hold a handstand or do a pull-up, rather than watching it from afar starts to creep into other areas of life.

Strong Community: Individual agency is sustained by a strong community. By immersing ourselves in environments supportive of athletic accomplishment regardless of age, gender, sexual preference etc, we avoid getting consumed by the conflicts of women and fitness, and cultural norms and yadda yadda. Ultimately the communities I have found in team sports, road cycling, triathlon, lifting, crossfit etc have allowed me to turn away from the negative voices of self-doubt and find positive ones worth nurturing.

Empowerment: There you have it. No matter what illusion social media portrays, do not fear! The results you achieve are totally up to what you are willing to give in terms of time and effort. Along that spectrum, there’s pretty much room for all-comers.  The communities worth being a part of are the kindest to beginners! Ultimately, your reasons and preferred activities are your own, but what moves you should have you leaving the gym/field/studio feeling better than when you left because that’s what keeps the positive voices going and keeps you coming back.

 

The (f)Empower Project

When I was little (read: younger...yes I know I'm still little) all of my girl friends played with dolls and strollers; I played goalie in my older brother's street hockey games. My friends played with Easy Bake Ovens, Barbies, and dressed up to play house; I played with Creepy Crawlers, went tobogganing on my GT Snowracer, and jumped off of high structures (after climbing them of course). Many of my 'friends' called me a Tom Boy.... My mum bought me a sewing machine for Christmas when I was 8 and put me in cake decorating instead of letting me play hockey, and I really didn't care because I was having fun. I didn't read magazines, there was no such thing as Instagram, and I was way too busy being awesome to understand that people were actually criticizing me for my 'boyish' interests. I was lucky I guess... even though there weren't that many female athletic figures to idolize at that time, there also wasn't as much pressure as there is today to be 'girly' in one's interests and feminine in one's appearance. 

Everything was reframed one summer day at sports camp when one of the older boys on my floor hockey team started calling me 'Mighty Mouse'. The next summer my baseball coaches started calling me 'Speedy Gonzales' because I was the only player on my co-ed fastball team that could steal bases (yes, I'm sensing a mouse theme here...), and when I was in grade 4 I became one of the best sparers in my Karate class, and broke my first board with a side kick. I felt powerful, strong and confident, not only in sports but also at home, in school, and basically anywhere else I went (Grade 4 Jenny was a boss!). It wasn't until my mid-twenties that I began to understand just how important sports and training were in my physical, mental, and emotional development. Through participation in sports I not only made new friends, I also learned self-discipline and resilience through martial arts, time management and good sportsmanship through school sports, and developed the positive skill-based attitude towards training that I hold today. This attitude carried me through and allowed me to ignore it when people started calling me a beast/jacked/bulky as I became involved in CrossFit, Olympic Lifting, and Powerlifting as an adult. Without those positive sport experiences as a child, a skill-based attitude towards training, and the amazing community at Academy of Lions, I'm sure I would have collapsed under the societal pressures and started 'ellipticalling' or 'body pumping' to look like the feminine images I see pasted all over Instagram and Facebook. 

I was reflecting on all of this a few months ago after an NTC event where I felt particularly proud of the community of strong, active women that Nike has helped to build in Toronto. You see, after the event, when I chatted with a bunch of the participants they were all so proud of their participation in NTC and the running community, and the progress they had made in their abilities over the last few months/years. For the most part, in the NTC and CrossFit communities in which I am immersed, there are no "I hate my (insert body part here)" type comments; rather, athletes are focused on getting their first pull up, doing perfect handstands, or running their fastest mile. Once again, I'm lucky. I'm lucky to be immersed in a community of strong, encouraging, like-minded people who praise their peers for their efforts and abilities, rather than the size of their jeans. And for this reason, my heart hurts when I see the images young girls and women are exposed to in the mainstream media revolving around the participation of women in athletics and training. Not only are many of these images unrealistic or unattainable, the methods that are promoted to achieve them are most often ridiculous, ineffective and worst of all, unpleasant. The ugliest part however, is this: many women are guilted or shamed into engaging these ridiculous exercises based on their appearance, the clothes they want to wear, or their eating habits. Nobody wants to spend 6 hours on an elliptical because they ate a brownie…it doesn’t work, and it doesn’t feel good. 

    As a society, we need realize something… Movement is Powerful. Lets take this one step further: Purposeful movement is Empowering. Rather than shaming girls and women into exercising achieve a certain look, we should be empowering them to play, train, and move for themselves - to build skills, relieve stress, and gain mental, physical and emotional strength and confidence. Training should not be presented as a torturous means to an unattainable end, but rather as a privilege, a period of time each individual can take for themselves to strive for goals as diverse as having fun, doing a strict push up, running a full marathon, or lifting their own bodyweight over their head. In addition to all of this, movement has the side benefits of helping girls and women build and maintain their bone and lean muscle mass, to improve or maintain their cardiorespiratory fitness, and to succeed in other areas of their life such as school or work! So why are we skipping all this good stuff, to guilt girls and women into training for aesthetic goals?

    Enter the (F)Empower Project. This is where it all begins to change. Over the next several months, I’m going to be running a series on Fridays featuring the training stories some of the strongest, most motivated, awesome and successful ladies I know. What do they have in common? They all train, hard. Their methods and goals are diverse, they started at all different ages and stages, but they share a common trait: they’ve managed to break through the barrier of exercising to reach an ideal image to achieve true greatness in their training, work and personal lives. They are honest, they are inspiring, and most of all they are encouraging and supportive of other women in their training efforts.

         I’m so excited about this little project, I think that I could squeal, do a jig, or do all of the above. My excitement is not only based on sharing the stores of these amazing women with you, but also on the end goal of this series… well, actually, the three end goals if I’m being honest. Firstly, as always, my foremost priority is to get more girls and women moving, in a way that is safe, efficient, and empowering! But beyond this, I hope that the (F)Empower Project will help to shift the imagery and discussion surrounding women in athletics and training away from a guilt-based image perspective towards a positive skill and health based perspective. Lastly, (and this is the big one) the long-term goal of this project is create a charitable organization based around empowering young girls, particularly those in vulnerable populations through safe, efficient, varied physical activity and the pure joy of movement. What can I say, other than ‘Ambitious goals make for outstanding achievements(1)’…and this one is very ambitious. So I hope you’ll browse by every Friday, and help build the momentum of the (F)Empower Project and the empowerment of women through training!

 

J

(1) Nike Women. 

Just because you can, doesn't mean you should.. (#alwaysaskwhy)

We're all guilty of it, all gym goers: the 'Meathead Moment'. That moment you decide you're going to do (try) something awesome (crazy), just because (you think) you can. It might be a new movement, or one you were able to do years ago. It might be a crazy back squat PR, it might even be a super intense conditioning workout you saw on TV or read about in men's health. Whatever it is, there are a few things you should consider before you jump in with both feet...

1. Does it hurt?

I'm not talking about your ego here, or about DOMS. I'm thinking more along the lines of pinching, pulling, zapping, popping, or tearing pain. Real discomfort (not feelings of effort), either during or following your movement attempts.  In the CrossFit world, where I live, its not uncommon for an athlete to tell me that their shoulders hurt, but that they'd like to try the Handstand Push Ups/Kipping Pull Ups/Muscle Ups in the WOD anyways, as if working through the pain helps earn them status, or even moves them closer to their movement goal. I'm not sure where this line of thinking originated, but I wish it would go away already! My thoughts are this: if a movement pattern hurts, its probably not a great idea to keep repeating it exactly the same way with the hope that the pain will just go away (whats the definition of insanity again?). STOP. Take a step back, analyze the movement, and figure out what you're missing - e.g. strength, stability, mobility, an intact joint capsule.. Whatever it is, in the short-term, its time to stop and work regressions, or get that nagging injury properly treated so you're in a better position to complete the movement safely and efficiently. From what I've heard, your first muscle up certainly isn't worth a rotator cuff tear, or the the months of rehab work that go along with it.

2. Is it conducive to your goals/training program (..by the way, do you have goals and a training program?)

If you're currently following a training program, chances are it was designed by yourself or trainer with certain goals in mind. I think it follows logically, that if you've set certain goals and have been putting work into achieving them, they're probably pretty important to you. So it always baffles me, when an individual with clearly defined goals and methods to achieve them attempts to do something at the gym that is completely incongruent with their program, or even worse, something that is detrimental to their health and progress. I get that it can be cool to post a video on Instagram of yourself doing something physically challenging, but is it really worth it if it compromises all of your hard work? Before trying something crazy at the gym, its certainly worth it to go through a risk:benefit analysis rather than jumping right in! If the chances of injury outweigh the benefits of the movement, you should probably skip it for now! 

If you don't yet have specific goals for your health, fitness, and training, it might be worth it to take some time to sit down and carve them out, for the benefit of your own progress, sanity and accountability (more on this in an upcoming post). If you're in a position where you're working with a trainer, or following general programming at a gym, I implore you to ALWAYS ASK WHY you're doing a specific movement or workout! I have seen way too many people practicing handstands (with poor technique) or running miles on miles when they really just want to get strong. If there is something that seems unsafe, incongruent with your goals, or just ridiculous in your program, please don't just do it because someone told you to! There is no point wasting your time and effort or risking your health on movements or workouts that will not aid your progress! 

3. Did you earn it?

Our bodies are really great at getting us from point A to point B! In the grand scheme of things, movement goes a little something like this: we tell our body what we want it to do and our body finds the path of least resistance to get us there; this is especially true in the case of an unfamiliar or awkward task. We're all really good at 'cheating' movements, and very often, we don't even realize we're doing it; if we hit the given start and end positions, we assume we did everything in the middle right! Often this is not the case! With sound coaching/training, technique work, and lots of 'perfect practice', we can teach our nervous system, muscles and joints the most safe, efficient, and ideal way to perform a given movement and give our tissues time to adapt...but that takes time and effort! I have seen numerous examples of people who did not 'earn their movement' over the last year, and I'm sad to say that most of them involve injury. A really common example occurs when people rush into lifting heavy, without taking time to build up tissue resilience and a proper movement pattern. Evolutionarily, our bodies are designed to help us avoid getting stuck under heavy objects, and as humans, we build 'neural' strength much faster than our joints and muscles adapt to new movements or weights, putting some of us in a very precarious position. As a result, some people up their weights too quickly and end up with strains, sprains, and in some cases, even disc injuries...and these injuries are certainly NOT the most catastrophic events that can possibly occur in these situations. Another common example are shoulder injuries that occur when individuals that do not have the raw strength to complete strict pull-ups or dips are taught to kip in order to enable them to do more work in a given period of time. This enables the individual to put a tonne of force through their shoulders at a very high speed, and often in an uncontrolled manner, teeing them up for injury! In either case, the time (and money) the athlete ends up investing in rehab far outweigh the time and effort it would have taken to learn the movement properly. So next time you step up to a barbell, pull-up bar, or even a set of rings, ask yourself, 'Did I really earn this?'

So why am I saying all of this?

What makes this information so important that I felt the need to write about it? There are two answers to this question!

Time!

  Having dealt with several injuries myself, I know how horrible it is having to take time off of training, especially when you're close to reaching your goals! Mentally and physically, it hard both to be out of the training world, and to work back in when you're given the green light! This is particularly true for trainers whose livelihood depend on being able to move properly! Think of each movement you perfect and all of your cumulative training experience as an investment; don't put all your pennies in one basket! 

Motor Patterning and Permanent Damage! 

Before you even start to try a new movement, know that our bodies are really great at learning and "remembering" movement patterns, the exact way we perform them. Repetition only strengthens this memory, and it only takes a few reps with a compensation or lack of activation in a given position to send us down a path to inefficient movement and potential injury! Moreover, soft tissue injury (sprains and strains) takes quite some time to heal, and in many cases, never returns to its pre-injury condition! With a shoulder injury like I mentioned above, your overhead mobility and strength could be limited permanently! 

 

So...

Take your time, work your drills, and keep your inner meathead satisfied with marvel movies!  

 

Photo from: http://www.strat-talk.com/forum/attachments/sidewinders-bar-grille/134833d1431899077-meathead-meathead.jpg

Photo from: http://www.strat-talk.com/forum/attachments/sidewinders-bar-grille/134833d1431899077-meathead-meathead.jpg